Public Saftey Announcement

Last night I was watching the money (weather) channel and they said that the safety procedures for your car in a tornado are:

Get as low in the car as possible (below any windows)
Cover your head with your hands

I was shocked with these tips because I have always heard to get out in the ditch. The new rules make total sense for several reasons. First, my scared ass is NOT going to lay down in a ditch during a tornado. Second, I am afraid I would blow away (This is a comment on my strength, not my weight). Third, there is so much flying debris outside, it makes sense to have some protection inside your car.

Ok, Red, so what is the big deal? Well, one, I want to keep my followers safe, and two, I know I wasn't dreaming this, I saw it on the money channel, however, I can't find the article online anywhere to back up my knowledge. So, do what you want, but I think I will stay with Charley during my next tornado.

He Has a Plan, Just Not Sure What It is

The title sounds like some great epiphany and relationship with God I have formed, however, for today, I am talking about my son, Willie. The damn cat has it out for me, and I am sure of it. Every time my roommate leaves the house for a few days he acts really bad and tries to get ME in trouble. Willie is very smart, as all animals are, and as he is watching my roommate pack up the car, he is planning his next adventure. Last night he was very successful in sneaking out of the house after dark (he doesn't get to go out after dark b/c of the ear debacle), when I opened the garage door to take something to a neighbor. I know, I am a bad parent for not noticing, but trust me, when he wants to move fast, he does. Another horrible thing was that I did not notice he was gone until I wanted to go to bed. So, around 10:15 last night I am driving around in my car, window down, shaking his cat treats trying to lure him home. Priceless sight, I am sure. My luring did not work.....he arrived on the porch at about 2:45 a.m. soaking wet, and no, it wasn't raining. I think he went ditch diving. Gross.

TV Show

Each week I keep reminding myself to inform you of a new show that I really like. I do not catch that many series anymore, I keep telling myself I am going to catch up on Grey's and Brothers and Sisters this summer, we will see if I get around to it. Anyway, by chance, I have caught the show, Cupid, for the past few weeks and it is a really cute show. It is on ABC at 10/9 central. Here is a link for more info.

I am also pretty impressed with Dancing with the Stars this season. Each time I watch it I wish I was more graceful and that I married someone who would entertain the idea of dancing lessons. Then, I get slapped with reality that even if he would entertain the idea, we would probably end up yelling at each other by the end of the lesson b/c we are so competitive. Oh well....

I am also watching Survivor. We don't have TIVO b/c my roommate is too cheap(I am not roommate bashing, this is just the truth), but we have Comcast cable that has certain shows recorded so you can watch them on demand. I know Survivor is old, but it is still good, and I am hooked every season. There is a loon this season - Coach. You just have to watch it one time and Coach will have you hooked. He is so full of shit he has got to stink. Here is a bit of his bio, just so you can get a taste of him (and how full of b.s. he is):

If Coach was asked to wear just one hat, it would be that of “Renaissance Man.” Aside from setting the world record for the longest solo kayak expedition on the ocean (an amazing 6,132 miles), Wade has also been attacked by a tiger shark, stalked by a jaguar in the Amazon and has been bitten by a piranha on his right hand. To say that he is a Type A, Alpha male, who likes to control the environment around him may just be an understatement. Coach’s dominant personality will be a force to be reckoned with in the game.

I miss the Rosie show

I don't know how many of my faithful 7 watched the Rosie O'Donnell show, but I really miss it. On Rosie's blog today (she is a blog I follow), she posted a link to a clip of when Bea Arthur was on her show. Rosie is just a hoot when she sings and doesn't care how good/bad it sounds. Love it.

I was a fan of Bea Arthur too as I loved the Golden Girls (Sophia was my favorite, but wasn't she everyone's favorite?). CAN'T YOU HEAR IT NOW?? I have been humming this a majority of the day. "Thank you for being a friend, traveled down the road and back again, my heart is true your pal and confidant. And if you threw a party, invited every one you knew, you would see the biggest gift would be from me and the card would say Thank You For Being a Friend."

FYI

Do any of you out there use this expression? I do, and apparently my roommate thinks I am out of style to use it. He would not shut up about it. I just wanted make him aware of the door being locked, so I said "FYI, the garage door is locked." From then on all day, EVERYTHING was FYI (fill in the blank). When I think about it, I don't remember hearing others use it that often, but I don't think it is as nerdy to use as he makes it seem.

Where are you on this one? Team Red or Team Roommate?

Birthday Present from Dodge

Apparently Dodge also received the memo that I am turning 30 soon. Yesterday I received a postcard that they want to give me a minivan for my birthday. (folks, stay calm, I am not a minivan hater, I understand the necessity and ease of them) however, not sure I am of the minivan "type" yet. Not sure I need all of that room for me, the roommate and cat. Hmmm....

Conversation with my Dad

Dad, I texted you and asked you to call me the other day.

Well, I don't know how to text.

I thought you said you knew how?

Well, I do, I push OK to read it.

So you got my text?

Yeah.

So were you going to call me?

Already not looking forward to 30

I had my review with my health insurance guy and he had some WONDERFUL news to present me with. He says with a chuckle, "I reviewed your account and see your 30th birthday is in July, so (chuckle), your plan will increase again in July about $50." Oh great! Not only did my plan already increase this year, but will increase AGAIN in July. Boy, am I looking forward to my 30th more now than ever!! To top it off, the increase takes effect July 1, not on August 1 (my b-day isn't until the 27th, darn it!).

At least you now have time to shop for my perfect gift....I will take a Blue Cross Blue Shield gift card....

Happy Monday

Hello all! Hope your weekend was good. Mine was filled with house chores, a good movie and great dinner, so I can't complain.

Dinner - we had Italian, which the other half is not such a fan of, however, his plate ended up clean, so I think there were no complaints. We also had some awesome lemon cake. All of us were skeptical of the lemon, but it was the house specialty and it was great. There is a modified recipe of this cake on the Kraft foods website if you are interested.

We power washed the fence yesterday. "We" is not a great way to put this actually, I did 1/3 and my roommate did the other 2/3. Power washing is not as much fun as it looks. I do not need to be equal anymore - I was perfectly happy letting him power wash and I was inside vacuuming. Now, when it comes time to stain the fence I need to find something very important to do such as organize my sock drawer.

My roommate and I decided to change our comforter from our down one to our lighter one, however, I think this decision was somewhat premature as we both woke up the the fetal position. I woke up with my robe on too, guess I got really cold! Poor Willie was in between us, but I don't think he was very warm either.

Enjoy the nice weather and talk to you soon.

Explanation for Last Post

Sorry it took so long to explain my post on Friday....I was working on winning a contest. One of my favorite blogs is The Pioneer Woman. She was having a contest on Friday and was offering an opportunity to go to her ranch in Tulsa and have a cooking lesson with a chef from New York. Well, I was hoping I could update with exciting news that I won. Not so much. I haven't heard I won, so I am guessing I didn't win. Darn. Thanks for playing along, it was fun while it lasted.

Have a good week!

HELLO REE!!! HOPE YOU ARE READING THIS.

Hello Ree, I am a big fan and have spent many hours pouring over your website when I am supposed to be working...... I love your spunk, humor and honesty and would be honored to meet you. Please pick me!!!



Here is my friend that will be my traveling companion - we are up for a good time, I promise!!!

If you haven't seen this yet....

you have got to watch this. This is a woman from Britain who hasn't had a lot of love in her life, or luck for that matter, but still has a voice so beautiful and has so much spirit, her song will bring a smile to your face. I especially like the part where Simon asks her what she wants to do and she responds "Be a professional singer" he then asks "Why haven't you done it yet" her response, "Because no one has given me the chance". If she never gets her chance, I hope at least she realizes how many people she has inspired to continue to chase their dreams.

Men are from Mars Women are from Venus

I never read that book but my friend told me a story last night and it sounded like this book. Ok, so lets call them Wilma and Fred. The Flintstones have been married for 25+years and live in Pratt. Pratt received 28 inches of snow one weekend, however, they had plans to go out of town. Here is a visual:




Fred, like the manly man he is, sees the snow as no big deal and digs out the car. Wilma periodically glances out the window to check on Fred, and once when she looked out she noticed the car was gone. Fred (and the car) were gone for some time, so she decided to look down the road to see if the car was stuck in the snow or something. Much to her surprise, she sees Fred walking down the street. Where is the car? Wilma asked. Fred said, Well, I made it up to the highway, so I left the car there and thought we would just walk up to the highway when we are ready to leave. There are a few problems with this:

1. There is NOTHING packed in the car
2. Since there is NOTHING packed in the car, they have to lug all of their belongings in the snow to their car
3. If Fred was able to make it out once, surely he could do it again, why in the hell did he leave the car at the highway????

so, Wilma, the sweet person she is, unhappily totes her suitcase, purse and other items 6+ blocks to meet her chariot that is waiting for her at the highway. Needless to say, Fred was in the doghouse!!

Friends

So here I am freaking out about an upcoming hearing, and to calm my nerves, need a bit of "fun" reading. Here is an excerpt from one of my other blogs and I felt I needed to share this:

"One of my most valuable lessons I have learned: that love is a verb. It is a lesson I have thought about frequently of late. That we must make time for our friends and the people we love. That thinking about them, and meaning to call, and assuming they know that we love them, is not enough. That true friendship requires the same as all relationships: acts of love. Small things: phone calls to let someone know we are thinking about them; making the effort to drop in chicken soup when they are sick, instead of telling them to call if they need anything; doing what we can to let them know they are appreciated."

While I agree with this, I have to give a shout out to all of my friends that I have a true understanding with that we do not need to call each other every week, or even every month for that matter, but yet we are still good friends. We will be there for each other when we need one another, yet, we will not hold a grudge if one drops off the face of the earth for a few months. They know me inside and out, accept all of my flaws, and when we get together we can catch up just like it was yesterday since we talked. These friendships are priceless to me.

Another person that I would love to talk to daily, but neither of us have the time is my mother. We can talk for hours and truly appreciate our limited time we have together. As I mature, I appreciate her more and more and pray God does not take her from me prematurely because I still need her guidance.

Reach out to someone you love and brighten their day!!

Things that have annoyed me today

1. I still cannot wear makeup.
2. Several people have commented they didn't even notice I was sans makeup. Seriously, I thought it did ALOT for me. I know, I should take it as a compliment.
3. I have received two letters addressed to Mr. Red. Use Google folks, it will only take .002 seconds to determine I am of the female kind.
4. I had to talk to tech support - in the Philippines. Need I say more???
5. He asked what I did - told him I was a divorce lawyer. He said that was an unusual profession. I think his English was a bit off - don't believe he meant to say "unusual".
6. I bought a new printer and lucky me...it came with a corrupt install disk. I was pooping my pants when I saw FATAL ERROR on my screen. Got it fixed. All is well.


Let's not focus on the negative, now that these ideas are off my chest I can move on. ONE GOOD THING: My roommate or cat doesn't have pink eye... yet. YES!! AND ONE MORE.....our taxes are done and we get money back!!!! I of course had plans to spend it (on the house) but the responsible half of the household said he has plans to save it. Boring.

CRITICS CORNER

So my roommate is absolutely disgusted that I posted not so appealing photos of myself. I thought it was funny, but some of you may not, so I am begging you faithful seven followers (actually 8, my mom reads but is not a "follower"), please do not be turned off. I promise to not gross you out for another few months.

Its Official, I am a Devil

My transformation began on Sunday





and was in full force Tuesday



Ain't I purdy???

Apology long overdue

DEAR MOOMSIE:

I AM SO DEEPLY SORRY FOR NOT ALLOWING YOU TO USE THE RESTROOM WITHOUT BARGING IN ON YOU FOR THE FIRST 18+ YEARS OF MY LIFE. I HAVE NO IDEA WHY THE EMERGENCIES OF MY LIFE SEEMED TO HIT WHILE YOU WERE TRYING TO GO PEE. MY SINCERE APOLOGIES AND I PROMISE TO BREAK FREE OF THIS AWFUL HABIT.

You are probably thinking, what the hell?? Well, when Mickey and Minnie were visiting I felt like my mother. I could not go to the bathroom in peace. No matter what bathroom I chose, they would come a'knockin. All I wanted to do was go to the bathroom and I couldn't as they would interrupt me and then my body was all messed up from the shock of fingers under the door, "Aunt Red, what are you doing", or just the door opening up wide. Paybacks are hell, my friends, because I continually did this to my mother. AND I did it the ENTIRE time I lived with my parents. So Mom, here it is, the long overdue apology. LOVE YOU!!!

For the Record

If I ever become a Judge, I swear that I will not be an absolute bitch to the attorney's who are doing pro bono work.

The end.